Passive aggressive...temper tantrums...detached from their own personal truths....
It's a hard thing to face. I went out with these men and had great affection for them and DID NOT listen to that inner voice that said CAUTION.
And the CAUTION sign wasn't about the kind of men they chose to be but about the kind of woman I was choosing to be...simply by being with them.
I was choosing to indulge their relationship "ideal" versus my own. By letting my own worthiness fall to the wayside, I fell victim to my lack of confidence. I fell victim to my own perceived inadequacies and I didn't stand firm in my convictions.
But each fall has subsequently been shorter, less painful and the healing came faster until no healing was required at all. Instead, I accepted my mistake, forgot about flagellation, and moved away and forward.
Facing the sunshine means not caring about my shadow anymore; it also means facing the storms and believing that I will emerge as a whole spirit.
I can be whole in spirit although my psyche became a bit tattered over the last decade. All those less than perfect parts of me can integrate now because I have learned that I can heal and those scars...they're just growth...not failure.
Whole
Spirit
Me
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