Monday, January 26, 2015

Will to Power

"I learned that what people do to you is oftentimes what you've asked them to do."  Susan Sung

Approaching the topic of relationship power struggles is daunting.  Humanity's legends, history, existence are based upon our struggles with one another in religion, war, and love.  Power.  At points, all these and more converge and it becomes a world war.  And regardless of convergence, it is always a personal war.

How then does one make sense of our need to be in control and exert power over another?  Rather than argue its existence, accepting that it happens tends to be the first rule to observe.  Survival is based upon maintaining power over oneself, over another, over a situation.  Ensuring that our offspring survives and thrives is a power move...we catapult our DNA into the future.

Dr. David McAnulty questions our choice to impose our "will to power" as parlaying our devotion to God, upholding a standard through powerful choices that seem to contradict religious teachings.  He uses Mother Teresa's example of "surrender to God's plan" in her mission work while also suffering her "dark holes" as she confesses being lost to her faith.

Undeniably, she is one of our greatest icons of charitable love and yet, she struggled against the powerful hold of her faith.  She wanted to submit wholeheartedly to Christ and she also wanted some control, some power over her own heart, her own mind.

Knowing that a Dark Saint (her words) had power issues is reassurance that it's okay to feel contradiction as we struggle with love in our personal relationships.  We struggle with self imposed confines as accepting another's love means accepting their boundaries, their cages and letting ourselves become entangled with their heartstrings.

Regarding Susan Sung's quote that I led with...yes, I believe that it's time to admit that we allow others the power to treat us a certain way...we've asked them to do so.  Revolution then may have more to do with ourselves than with them.  



Thursday, January 22, 2015

Summertime Life

Listening to Ella Fitzgerald stroke these lyrics so masterfully is evidence that art transcends its medium.  Her voice paints a picture, inspires hope, and evokes a dreamlike state that we fall into while pondering our own creativity.

Gershwin had the genius for placing pitch perfect words into a semblance of rhythm that musicians then alter to fit their own style.  Listening to this perfection of song including lyric, melody, and a songstress whose performance was heartfelt motivates me to find my words, my inner aching beauty, and my "Summertime" whenever I choose.

Often, I refer to midlife as a transition into the autumn of life.  Hearing art such as this though reminds me that "Summertime" does not have to depart.  I can choose to fly away from it, above it, around it, and beyond it at my whim.  It is true freedom when we can choose to transcend our medium...either in the reality of art or the promise of escaping life through art.



Summertime Life

My sighs and woes
My highs and lows
A turn to dark
A turn to glow
Forever thoughts?
Forever moans?
A mystery sought
A mystery grown
My dark and light
My heart and sight
Forever lost?
Forever found?
My sighs and woes
My breaths and moans
A turn made right

A turn to flight

Sunday, January 11, 2015

The Heart Wants What it Wants

Young Selena Gomez relates the ache of having a heart that launches itself painfully toward a dead end love.  Disdainful critics cast aside the importance of these pop culture icons yet the masses are moved by their messages.

Modern Fairy Tale  Listen to her brief monologue before the song.

Mothering teenagers took me back to the days of my angst filled youth...days that seemed interminably long when my heart was broken...days that passed in a blur when I was ecstatic.  What a surprise to find out that it remains the same in midlife regardless of my so called maturity!  The books and articles that we read and write may reflect adult lessons but observing the pop culture of youth shows we don't truly change our approach too much.

Music is our solace, flipping from fad to fad is our habit, and speaking out loudly against society's expectations is part of our psyche.  I often tell my children that we seem to be in the same stage of life, on the cusp of a great adventure that we can't predict but are excited to undertake.  The gift and curse of our modern age is that the internet has allowed immediate interaction with our present and our past.  Because of its immediacy, we no longer have the luxury of reflection.  The lure of instantaneous fulfillment bypasses a much needed rest stop on life's path.

And yet, the outcrop of art coming from our youth shows they are reflecting...they are absorbing...they are evolving.  I don't believe that today's generation is LESS than previous great generations.  We've given them the tools to become civilization's best example of what humanity can become.  Naysayers will come back with ruminations of our crumbling social fabric.  Instead, our youth may be the first wave of weavers who are forming a new and better social fabric.

Let me end with a throwback response to Selena from a past pop icon.

Ronstadt's Lesson

Don't feel alone, Selena because you too will learn the lesson and meet better men.  And one day, maybe you will be considered a national treasure just like my era's Linda Ronstadt.



Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Rubber Bands and Mallets

S T R E T C H I N G

M Y S E L F

Without breaking.
A rubber band-my life-
Forsaking
The fears giving in
To tugs-giving in
To stretching, not breaking.

P O U N D I N G

M Y S E L F

Into submission.
A rubber mallet-my penance-
Permission
The emotions of love
To tears-giving in
To intentions, not fears.

R E L E A S I N G

M Y S E L F

For exploring.
A rubber-filled talent, not boring.
Freedom
The stirring of words
To moments-giving in
To be heard, not silence.



Friday, January 2, 2015

Do You Know Me

We seek them, those people who seem so familiar upon introduction that our coupling has no awkwardness.  It's as if we had simply been separated across time and knew that our moment to reunite would undoubtedly arrive.

Our conversations are a tangled mass of weeds...fast growing, riotous, random and yet, there is form to the madness.  Because our psyches have reconnected, the outcrop of union appears haphazard but like weeds, a purpose evolves.

We need to understand that weeds serve a purpose. That purpose isn’t to cost farmers more money or increase the amount of gray hair on our heads. It isn’t to keep us up at night. Mother Nature has a more practical purpose in mind, and that is simple ground cover. Exposed soil erodes from water and wind. That’s why after some calamity strips the soil clear of residue, weeds are often the first plants to grow back. Like nature’s own cover crops, they are holding precious topsoil in place.  Curt Arens

My own connection to our dear Earth urges me to continue planting in my fields of life.  Circumstance has caused them to lie fallow for a while now...stripped bare of those carefully tended gardens that I pruned and petted into perfection.  But perfection left them vulnerable and far too fragile for my future needs.  Nature knows this and regardless of my own desires, takes control of the weather of discontent and scours those fields down to the naked soil.

I can remember my grandfather and father burning fields down to the bare ground.  Bright green shoots  reappeared and were more vibrant because the sun had been allowed to touch them, free of the heaviness of overgrowth....


Do You Know Me?


Down to the ground,
My life is down to the ground,
Storms toss my soul, my soil
With devil winds of discontent.

Fallow, empty and exposed
I feel every droplet of rain
Boring into my depths
Creating pain.

It's a muddy mess for anyone
Who walks my field.
Their feet become weighted
With my clay, my soul, my soil.

How can one ask another to
Walk these fields?
Entreaty, open hand, outstretched
Do You Know Me?

And yet, hope prevails.
A pathway through the slog opens.
The field dries, the mud dissipates
And bright green shoots grow quickly

In the sun....
Weeds racing along the path
In riotous growth, covering, protecting
Serving their purpose...beauty unparalleled.