Danger

We say we're ready to open ourselves to welcoming new types of people into our circle.  Yet, the same personalities keep presenting themselves.  I'm settling into the fact that I will not be satisfied with hum-drum.  Life as a chase and an adventure is beginning anew for me.  No matter how much my inner "good southern girl" urges me to conform, I accept a different path.  One not scattered with flower petals...one pockmarked with ice and mud, rocks and shards...one with challenges around each curve and excitement on the horizon....



I like the danger of you
And yet I feel safe

I like the bite from you
And the bloody taste

I like my hair pulled
And delicious pain

Turn on the light now
Turn off the same....

Veil of Vulnerability

Addicts must hit ROCK bottom before recovery begins.  For those of us who struggle with our emotional selves, what bottom must we hit?

Should it be soft to consume our pain?  Slippery to send us off into another dimension of denial?

Where is the mysterious place for individuals who keep their outer selves controlled and their inner vulnerabilities carefully veiled?

I imagine that there are more of us in the latter category.  We maintain our auras of normalcy through mundane challenges, countless life transitions and an endless dedication of making everyone else's life move smoothly.

Exposing our pain is like donning a veil of vulnerability.  We allow it to be seen so that we can't be faulted for hiding.  And yet we hide behind it anyway.

It is a strange feeling to be exposed and still be hidden.

And so I ask myself, my psyche, my being...how naked is it I must be for the deepest healing to begin?