Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Let's Play
I don't think I'm going too far out on a limb to say that my life has been lived in action mode. Each adult transition has centered on how I will prepare for the next stage of development. If I were truly playing the game of LIFE, I would be on the upper tier seeking a fortuitous route to finish the game with the biggest house, a perfect family, the correct car and lots of savings in the bank for....
For....
The game ends once those goals have been achieved. Now I ponder my shift in living a life based less on action and more on reaction. It's all about the journey is starting to make more sense. It's partly instinctual and culturally demanded that young adulthood is spent seeking the means for survival. The virtues of creative living extolled in childhood dissipate when we cut the apron strings and start the race toward a mundane existence.
As I listen and read excerpts from today's youth, I wonder if we will have another cultural revolution such as the 1960's. Dissatisfaction at all levels of society (not including the super rich) is gaining traction. We do not sound and act as a happy people collectively. Plus, the definition of happy is not something that all of us can agree on! How long can society maintain this angst?
Our mindset of "all work and no play" makes for unhealthy bodies and disturbed psyches. We've started diminishing play in early childhood education and continue doing so throughout the schooling process. Our college students enslave themselves with outrageous college loans that leave them locked out of the playground of life...who can play and relax knowing that they will spend the better part of adulthood paying for a degree that can't pay for itself???
Play. In these hectic times, we're asked to pray, not play...Rome might burn. But the stressed out, keyed up version of humanity looking back at us in the mirror might need to do more when it is down on its knees asking for answers. Seeking truth and guidance is admirable but how can we hear the answers if our brains are buzzing with stress?
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Authenticity-For Real?
To some degree, all of us like to be fooled. We watch reality TV knowing that it's not real, we succumb to unbelievable advertising and we ignore our instincts when we suspect lying from friends, family, or co-workers.
Do we want to know who/what is authentic or are we happy in the "duh" zone?
Recent news events are making many of us confront authenticity. Government, military, police are in place to protect and support citizens and yet, we are questioning all of them. Because of today's media speed, we have scant time to ponder and process the facts surrounding events. Our "gut checks" are weakened as reaction times have been cut to seconds. Taking to social media for our immediate responses can cause a landslide of emotional tirades which further adds to the drama of a situation...either nationally, locally, or personally.
Mankind isn't evolving fast enough to handle this onslaught of real time reaction. Not only are more of us succumbing to the "duh" zone because of necessity, we are going there to hide. Our coping mechanisms are out of control as we self medicate with the nonsense of modern society...drugs, alcohol, social media, a smorgasbord of bad habits that threaten our mental and physical stability.
Life's conveniences have become life's prisons.
Were I not a student of history, I would predict our downfall. But I am. And I realize that all generations past, present, and future confront the dilemmas of progress. I am hopeful that my own and that of my children will concentrate more on "how to cope" rather than "halt the process." It is the denial of change rather than the embrace that makes for wars within ourselves and within our world.
Do we want to know who/what is authentic or are we happy in the "duh" zone?
Recent news events are making many of us confront authenticity. Government, military, police are in place to protect and support citizens and yet, we are questioning all of them. Because of today's media speed, we have scant time to ponder and process the facts surrounding events. Our "gut checks" are weakened as reaction times have been cut to seconds. Taking to social media for our immediate responses can cause a landslide of emotional tirades which further adds to the drama of a situation...either nationally, locally, or personally.
Mankind isn't evolving fast enough to handle this onslaught of real time reaction. Not only are more of us succumbing to the "duh" zone because of necessity, we are going there to hide. Our coping mechanisms are out of control as we self medicate with the nonsense of modern society...drugs, alcohol, social media, a smorgasbord of bad habits that threaten our mental and physical stability.
Life's conveniences have become life's prisons.
Were I not a student of history, I would predict our downfall. But I am. And I realize that all generations past, present, and future confront the dilemmas of progress. I am hopeful that my own and that of my children will concentrate more on "how to cope" rather than "halt the process." It is the denial of change rather than the embrace that makes for wars within ourselves and within our world.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Exit Stage Left
I have read that there are 5 stages to divorce recovery: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
These stages are prolific online and part of me wonders if content-fillers just keep accessing the same outdated chart from a long ago published article. My problem with these stages is that the first three take place during the actual divorce proceedings. Afterwards, we are left with the emotional turmoil of depression and acceptance.
As a divorce novice (only 2 years post divorce after a 23 year marriage,) I feel the true stages of divorce recovery are as individual as the spouses involved. Dr. Andra Brosh relates the clearest idea of "truths" that I've read yet. Truths Her summation, "Take it upon yourself to challenge the stigma of our society that portrays divorcing people as being broken and pathetic. Teach them that it's painful, yet transformative, and that divorce is the end of a marriage not a life."
My literal nest is emptying in a couple of days. With my ex, I'll be leaving our "baby" at her university. 18 years old. The family's fracture will be complete. Both children will continue to need our parenting but the family of four will have completed its final separation and so, too, do I feel another stage of divorce recovery.
As many couples anticipate, the empty nest conjures up visions of freedom and excitement. Unfortunately, the statistics for a couple to make that journey are not as optimistic. Creating a family creates turmoil. Even the "happiest" couple admits that it is a tremendous struggle to maintain balance and contentment in a marriage with the stresses of child-rearing. Not seeking help during those long years is a recipe for disaster. Friendly advice, family intervention, spiritual guidance, couples counseling...any or all of it might be necessary for two people to come out on the other side successfully after family life.
Our little family has four separate accomplishments. Each of us have branched away and the lessons learned about guidance will enable me to help my children for the rest of our lives.
This new STAGE of life means I must exit the old one. And so, with a bow...
Exit stage left.
These stages are prolific online and part of me wonders if content-fillers just keep accessing the same outdated chart from a long ago published article. My problem with these stages is that the first three take place during the actual divorce proceedings. Afterwards, we are left with the emotional turmoil of depression and acceptance.
As a divorce novice (only 2 years post divorce after a 23 year marriage,) I feel the true stages of divorce recovery are as individual as the spouses involved. Dr. Andra Brosh relates the clearest idea of "truths" that I've read yet. Truths Her summation, "Take it upon yourself to challenge the stigma of our society that portrays divorcing people as being broken and pathetic. Teach them that it's painful, yet transformative, and that divorce is the end of a marriage not a life."
My literal nest is emptying in a couple of days. With my ex, I'll be leaving our "baby" at her university. 18 years old. The family's fracture will be complete. Both children will continue to need our parenting but the family of four will have completed its final separation and so, too, do I feel another stage of divorce recovery.
As many couples anticipate, the empty nest conjures up visions of freedom and excitement. Unfortunately, the statistics for a couple to make that journey are not as optimistic. Creating a family creates turmoil. Even the "happiest" couple admits that it is a tremendous struggle to maintain balance and contentment in a marriage with the stresses of child-rearing. Not seeking help during those long years is a recipe for disaster. Friendly advice, family intervention, spiritual guidance, couples counseling...any or all of it might be necessary for two people to come out on the other side successfully after family life.
Our little family has four separate accomplishments. Each of us have branched away and the lessons learned about guidance will enable me to help my children for the rest of our lives.
This new STAGE of life means I must exit the old one. And so, with a bow...
Exit stage left.
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Fractured Focus
I mismanage multi-tasking. It's not part of my skill set nor is it something I aspire to conquer. Instead, I have made peace with the fact that my life cannot be joyful if my mind is running in different directions. Science is actually on my side with this one. MORE....
Knowing this and practicing it are two different beasts. This stage of my life is so full of promise and excitement that I get overwhelmed with it all. I want to soak in multiple experiences because I truly believe we ought to live as if tomorrow will not occur. And that's a problem. It's a popular quote but isn't feasible. It fractures our focus and can paralyze our productivity.
I come from a long line of "busy bees" and we like to get shit done! Perhaps it's because of my farm upbringing that I don't count on opportunities being available. If the crop wasn't properly taken care of or harvested on time, Mother Nature would show up and give us a punch in the face. "No time like the present" meant more than a Pinterest quote; it meant the difference between hardship and rest during the winter.
By not having children or a homestead depending on my daily productivity, I confront my day's potential far differently. It is absolutely the FIRST time in my adult life that no one is depending on my productivity. Even as a child, I understood that if I didn't complete my chores then my mother's life would be harder. Other than my two feline friends, my daily presence isn't necessary for another's contentment. My presence is simply for mine alone.
Startling.
This huge looking glass placed in front of me could easily be fractured if I don't maintain my focus. Purposeful living for oneself is alien to me but I instinctively understand that my success in this endeavor is paramount. Tomorrow's excitement depends on today's contentment...NOT on today's production.
Knowing this and practicing it are two different beasts. This stage of my life is so full of promise and excitement that I get overwhelmed with it all. I want to soak in multiple experiences because I truly believe we ought to live as if tomorrow will not occur. And that's a problem. It's a popular quote but isn't feasible. It fractures our focus and can paralyze our productivity.
I come from a long line of "busy bees" and we like to get shit done! Perhaps it's because of my farm upbringing that I don't count on opportunities being available. If the crop wasn't properly taken care of or harvested on time, Mother Nature would show up and give us a punch in the face. "No time like the present" meant more than a Pinterest quote; it meant the difference between hardship and rest during the winter.
By not having children or a homestead depending on my daily productivity, I confront my day's potential far differently. It is absolutely the FIRST time in my adult life that no one is depending on my productivity. Even as a child, I understood that if I didn't complete my chores then my mother's life would be harder. Other than my two feline friends, my daily presence isn't necessary for another's contentment. My presence is simply for mine alone.
Startling.
This huge looking glass placed in front of me could easily be fractured if I don't maintain my focus. Purposeful living for oneself is alien to me but I instinctively understand that my success in this endeavor is paramount. Tomorrow's excitement depends on today's contentment...NOT on today's production.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
To Every Thing There is a Season
Listening now....
This song became an international hit the year after my birth which may be why I've enjoyed it as an "oldie" but not as anything more.
Surprisingly, the main lyric has been flitting through my brain the last couple of weeks. I like to be mindful of messages whether they come from within or externally. After spending the last few days contemplating my impending empty nest, the death of one of my generation's greatest comedic influences, and the puzzling events of my romantic life, I finally researched the lyric.
More surprises. It's a Bible verse. I expected a poem or an interesting tale behind the writing of the lyrics but not only is it a verse, it is one of a handful that has been recorded successfully in popular music. Although the sequence of the words is changed a bit and a couple of lines were added by Bob Seeger, it remains scripture set to music. And I guess that makes sense of why it had been in my head...I have been exposed recently to a myriad of spiritual messages.
My patience has been tested this summer and I consider myself time tested and victorious in that arena...I'm pulling back on my hubris now!
Patience. Inner discipline. Steadfastness. Faithfulness.
All these qualities are what I've built my life on in this last decade of turmoil. There is a fine line between letting the inevitable take place and taking charge of making events happen. We have to be forthright to push our lives onward but I've learned that pushing too soon just means that life has to be redirected down the road and THAT is a frustrating endeavor.
And so the push and pull continues as I receive and process all of life's messages. When it appears to be a code that I cannot understand, I step back to reassess. Perhaps I can't understand the message if I haven't learned a lesson to make it so...and yes, I'm reminded of my favorite video games when doing this!
Turn! Turn! Turn!
And after posting this, I see in my email that I have this message from Robin Korth's weekly thoughts:
This song became an international hit the year after my birth which may be why I've enjoyed it as an "oldie" but not as anything more.
Surprisingly, the main lyric has been flitting through my brain the last couple of weeks. I like to be mindful of messages whether they come from within or externally. After spending the last few days contemplating my impending empty nest, the death of one of my generation's greatest comedic influences, and the puzzling events of my romantic life, I finally researched the lyric.
More surprises. It's a Bible verse. I expected a poem or an interesting tale behind the writing of the lyrics but not only is it a verse, it is one of a handful that has been recorded successfully in popular music. Although the sequence of the words is changed a bit and a couple of lines were added by Bob Seeger, it remains scripture set to music. And I guess that makes sense of why it had been in my head...I have been exposed recently to a myriad of spiritual messages.
My patience has been tested this summer and I consider myself time tested and victorious in that arena...I'm pulling back on my hubris now!
Patience. Inner discipline. Steadfastness. Faithfulness.
All these qualities are what I've built my life on in this last decade of turmoil. There is a fine line between letting the inevitable take place and taking charge of making events happen. We have to be forthright to push our lives onward but I've learned that pushing too soon just means that life has to be redirected down the road and THAT is a frustrating endeavor.
And so the push and pull continues as I receive and process all of life's messages. When it appears to be a code that I cannot understand, I step back to reassess. Perhaps I can't understand the message if I haven't learned a lesson to make it so...and yes, I'm reminded of my favorite video games when doing this!
Turn! Turn! Turn!
And after posting this, I see in my email that I have this message from Robin Korth's weekly thoughts:
A question of
judgment
Judging others is an ugliness of spirit that darkens my world.
In judging others, I make myself feel better about myself without doing any work.
I cheat the universe and myself of the potent growing of my own spirit.
I also willfully step on the beingness of another--thinking I have a right to.
*A very poignant reminder that being a mindful person means cutting others some slack. Each of us deserves the space to find ourselves or sadly, to hang ourselves....
Judging others is an ugliness of spirit that darkens my world.
In judging others, I make myself feel better about myself without doing any work.
I cheat the universe and myself of the potent growing of my own spirit.
I also willfully step on the beingness of another--thinking I have a right to.
*A very poignant reminder that being a mindful person means cutting others some slack. Each of us deserves the space to find ourselves or sadly, to hang ourselves....
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Brightness
Today I reached out to nature for comfort as my being continued to absorb the loss of Robin Williams. And not just his loss, but the countless others who lose themselves in the crevices of their minds. Oddly, I had mentioned a couple days ago that perhaps we needed Emotional Critical Care units just as we have Urgent Care units scattered around our communities.
Would it make a difference if we were able to stop at CVS to pick up toothpaste but impulsively slip into a care unit for our psyches.
Churches would seem to fill this void but the soulful need versus the emotional need...is it the same? The respectable buildings that hold God's people are intimidating to those of us who are unchurched. But a need is there and perhaps if these buildings became beacons for suffering folk, emergency rooms for Emotional Critical Care, they might be the answer for those who are wandering lost in their sadness and lost in their minds.
Today, I lay on the sand beside the ocean drinking in the brightness of our beautiful world. I mourned for Robin's children. I mourned for his future grandchildren who would never meet him and all of those who loved him. I see the R.I.P. notices and yet, sadly, I wonder if his spirit can find rest. Leaving this world in such pain...is it possible for a violent end to free a pained soul?
Brightness. Light versus dark. Surrounding oneself with watchful loved ones and choosing to seek help and yet, darkness can still win.
Choose the light. Choose the brightness.
Would it make a difference if we were able to stop at CVS to pick up toothpaste but impulsively slip into a care unit for our psyches.
Churches would seem to fill this void but the soulful need versus the emotional need...is it the same? The respectable buildings that hold God's people are intimidating to those of us who are unchurched. But a need is there and perhaps if these buildings became beacons for suffering folk, emergency rooms for Emotional Critical Care, they might be the answer for those who are wandering lost in their sadness and lost in their minds.
Today, I lay on the sand beside the ocean drinking in the brightness of our beautiful world. I mourned for Robin's children. I mourned for his future grandchildren who would never meet him and all of those who loved him. I see the R.I.P. notices and yet, sadly, I wonder if his spirit can find rest. Leaving this world in such pain...is it possible for a violent end to free a pained soul?
Brightness. Light versus dark. Surrounding oneself with watchful loved ones and choosing to seek help and yet, darkness can still win.
Choose the light. Choose the brightness.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Robin Williams: Lost Laughs
It's the first few hours of reaction that leave us numb. The moment of finding out that we lost someone who affected us more than we imagined is shocking. Our familiarity with their presence is so ingrained that processing the information is too much to bear.
He's gone. No matter the sentiments of his legacy living on with his recorded entertainment, he is gone.
Humor is the coping mechanism tool for the sunny set. Anger is the tool for the shadowy set. Depression is the outcome when one can't find the sweet spot between light and dark and depression is exposed more and more often for this baby boomer set.
Despite the research and current medications, depressive symptoms in our society are epidemic.
How can a genius such as Robin Williams fall prey to its insidious allure? Where is the threshold of pain for the rest of us then? In our nation, suicide ranks 10th as a cause of death while homicide ranks 16th. Suicidology
Shock. Numbness. How numb was Robin when he made his decision to leave? Why aren't we treating each other for our loss of a reason to live as much as we might for all the other diseases that plague us.
Lost Laughs
He's gone. No matter the sentiments of his legacy living on with his recorded entertainment, he is gone.
Humor is the coping mechanism tool for the sunny set. Anger is the tool for the shadowy set. Depression is the outcome when one can't find the sweet spot between light and dark and depression is exposed more and more often for this baby boomer set.
Despite the research and current medications, depressive symptoms in our society are epidemic.
How can a genius such as Robin Williams fall prey to its insidious allure? Where is the threshold of pain for the rest of us then? In our nation, suicide ranks 10th as a cause of death while homicide ranks 16th. Suicidology
Shock. Numbness. How numb was Robin when he made his decision to leave? Why aren't we treating each other for our loss of a reason to live as much as we might for all the other diseases that plague us.
Lost Laughs
Critical Care
One of my leftover "hang ups" from childhood appears to be my hypersensitivity to criticism. Why do I just feel like I made an announcement at an AA meeting? Were I to be at one of those meetings, I would promptly be called out for my indecisive language. Instead....
I HAVE a problem with my hypersensitivity to criticism. Is there a 12 step process to face this nagging deficit in my character? I'm assuming not but of course I'll be Googling it later.
Being able to pinpoint exactly when this happened isn't difficult. At the age of 5 starting kindergarten, I began to see/feel/experience my differences among others. Developmentally, it's perfectly normal but without parental support to show me how to respond to innocent (albeit critical) remarks, my journey of self-doubt and unworthiness began. Therefore, hearing a critique cut me to the quick; I was already my worst critic.
Each time that I think I've overcome this dysfunction, a new situation (or critical person) appears in my life. In all honesty, they DO NOT appear just to hand me their opinions. I've invited them into my life and once they begin to feel comfortable, they then tend to offer advice because they just want to help.
Now begins the dance of dodging each other's hot spots and learning how to communicate critical care. The phrase is so fitting because most of us truly do want to help each other despite mass media's warnings. We seek to give critical care and I believe we seek to RECEIVE critical care.
I am open about it. I want to learn and evolve in the hopes that I can be a more peaceful person. Peace within my self...peace with the life that I'm living...and peace with well-meaning but oft misspoken care givers. Givers of critiques. Finding others like me who covet the peace zone and are willing to acknowledge their deficits isn't as easy as I thought. Giving air time to the dysfunctions that hide within our psyche is uncomfortable.
This was my experience upon hearing someone discuss religion with me one evening. My whole being was literally thrown back to an earlier time of pain. Heart palpitations, stuttering, incoherent thoughts were pieces of a painful childhood that I had buried away...my zombie of religion began to rise from its grave.
Stunning. The human mind and its armor protecting us from ourselves amazes me. Its message to RETREAT, RETREAT was on target and I did. Stunning x 2. I'm evolving enough now to face not only the critique but the truth behind what causes a perfectly normal adult to fall headlong into a forgotten pain.
Losing a friend or loved one when this happens might be part of the outcome. But sunny-side-up me believes that individuals come into our life for a reason and it's to help us learn more about ourselves. In doing that, I suppose the loss of one for the gain of another (me) is the trade off for personal growth.
I'm wondering as all of us enter this new instant communicative age if we need to set up more than Urgent Cares for our bodies. Perhaps we need to have an Emotional Critical Care office in every pharmacy as well....
I HAVE a problem with my hypersensitivity to criticism. Is there a 12 step process to face this nagging deficit in my character? I'm assuming not but of course I'll be Googling it later.
Being able to pinpoint exactly when this happened isn't difficult. At the age of 5 starting kindergarten, I began to see/feel/experience my differences among others. Developmentally, it's perfectly normal but without parental support to show me how to respond to innocent (albeit critical) remarks, my journey of self-doubt and unworthiness began. Therefore, hearing a critique cut me to the quick; I was already my worst critic.
Each time that I think I've overcome this dysfunction, a new situation (or critical person) appears in my life. In all honesty, they DO NOT appear just to hand me their opinions. I've invited them into my life and once they begin to feel comfortable, they then tend to offer advice because they just want to help.
Now begins the dance of dodging each other's hot spots and learning how to communicate critical care. The phrase is so fitting because most of us truly do want to help each other despite mass media's warnings. We seek to give critical care and I believe we seek to RECEIVE critical care.
I am open about it. I want to learn and evolve in the hopes that I can be a more peaceful person. Peace within my self...peace with the life that I'm living...and peace with well-meaning but oft misspoken care givers. Givers of critiques. Finding others like me who covet the peace zone and are willing to acknowledge their deficits isn't as easy as I thought. Giving air time to the dysfunctions that hide within our psyche is uncomfortable.
This was my experience upon hearing someone discuss religion with me one evening. My whole being was literally thrown back to an earlier time of pain. Heart palpitations, stuttering, incoherent thoughts were pieces of a painful childhood that I had buried away...my zombie of religion began to rise from its grave.
Stunning. The human mind and its armor protecting us from ourselves amazes me. Its message to RETREAT, RETREAT was on target and I did. Stunning x 2. I'm evolving enough now to face not only the critique but the truth behind what causes a perfectly normal adult to fall headlong into a forgotten pain.
Losing a friend or loved one when this happens might be part of the outcome. But sunny-side-up me believes that individuals come into our life for a reason and it's to help us learn more about ourselves. In doing that, I suppose the loss of one for the gain of another (me) is the trade off for personal growth.
I'm wondering as all of us enter this new instant communicative age if we need to set up more than Urgent Cares for our bodies. Perhaps we need to have an Emotional Critical Care office in every pharmacy as well....
Friday, August 8, 2014
Pain and growth
The stillness of life can be peaceful. It can also be the calm before a storm, almost as if the universe or God is prepping one to collect extra strength.
Life's pathways are so often strewn with the debris of passed storms and yet, many of us clear the way and continue on. I've always been puzzled why others don't. What makes one person keep moving and another sit beside the path? How is it that fear paralyzes us when it seems prescient to escape the damage and find smoother trails?
Good people as well as bad face this dilemma. Drawing forth the courage to progress rather than wallow is part of humanity that challenges our morality, our sensibility, our commitment to being wholly healthy. All parts of our being stagnate if one element is left to wither.
Success then can be rationalized by those who remain sitting versus moving.
"I sit because I WILL be happy in this storm's debris." And their sitting becomes firmer the longer they do so. How is it possible that we rationalize it within ourselves? I know that I have sat in my life storm's debris to keep the status quo and not upset the trek of others on their paths. Somehow, I believed I was helping others by NOT helping myself. It wasn't true and the soul of me rebelled to rise up and clear my path to happiness.
Philosophy, religion, the arts take part in the human dilemma of pain and growth...one not happening without the other. The muscles of our being don't become toned without dealing with life's storms...the aftermath...the debris cluttering our paths.
Life's pathways are so often strewn with the debris of passed storms and yet, many of us clear the way and continue on. I've always been puzzled why others don't. What makes one person keep moving and another sit beside the path? How is it that fear paralyzes us when it seems prescient to escape the damage and find smoother trails?
Good people as well as bad face this dilemma. Drawing forth the courage to progress rather than wallow is part of humanity that challenges our morality, our sensibility, our commitment to being wholly healthy. All parts of our being stagnate if one element is left to wither.
Success then can be rationalized by those who remain sitting versus moving.
"I sit because I WILL be happy in this storm's debris." And their sitting becomes firmer the longer they do so. How is it possible that we rationalize it within ourselves? I know that I have sat in my life storm's debris to keep the status quo and not upset the trek of others on their paths. Somehow, I believed I was helping others by NOT helping myself. It wasn't true and the soul of me rebelled to rise up and clear my path to happiness.
Philosophy, religion, the arts take part in the human dilemma of pain and growth...one not happening without the other. The muscles of our being don't become toned without dealing with life's storms...the aftermath...the debris cluttering our paths.
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Revisit
Facing this time when the last duckling leaves the nest, I go back through my journals and find those entries that helped me get through other difficult days.
April 8,2012 April Alarmist
April 8,2012 April Alarmist
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that’s all. Oscar Wilde
Everything will be all right in the end, if it's not all right, it's not the end. Author Unknown
The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra. Jimmy Johnson
The best way to predict your future is to create it. Peter Drucker
Decorate yourself from the inside out. Andrei Turnhollow
The key to change...is to let go of fear. Roseanne Cash
A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for.
The springtime greeting that April brings...renewal. It's time to renew that library book of life so you can finish the final chapters. After all, the best part is the part leading up to the end!
My children are in bloom for this "spring" of their life. As I see them flourish, I'm comforted that they have been receptive to preparation that may help them through their own difficult times. As much as I could, I opened doors and encouraged them to sample all that they wanted of the world I have been able to show them.
Besides pledging my love and loyalty, they know my support is there for their adventurous spirits whether it be in their backyards or the depths of their souls. Explore. Explore. Explore! And be diligent to also find peace, peace, peace....
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Sultry Florida
Sultry Florida's evening is buzzing loudly,
Skylight pale and distant,
Live oaks reaching out to the dead
Of leaves and people and dreams.
And I reach upwards,
Stretching to grasp a twig
Of understanding, a leaf of knowledge,
Alive with the buzz of Florida's charm.
Music making insects,
Dream making skies,
Comforting branches hung with
Moss covered Florida blankets.
A living life can be found here.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Broken
I read this from a friend earlier today:
"Here's the thing. Men like me never get anywhere. Ideas are easy. Success is hard. We are easily led astray by every little wind of hope, every tiny glimmer of a light at the end of a long dark path. In the end all of it is folly. It is all a fools dream."
Words of comfort didn't come forth. It's hard to read; it must have been difficult to write. Life transition brings on the darkest of days before a sunrise. Trite responses are unnecessary.
As we mid life women wrangle with life's direction, at least we tend to have an inbuilt emotional structure to manage the chaos. Men...I have come across so many who are ill prepared to handle the second half of their lives...especially if the first half has been less than successful.
Society favors the male gender until he ages. Yes, he will probably have built more financial stability but even that is changing. With the higher enrollment of women in college and wealth being managed in a more feminine friendly way, this century will not bode well for traditional masculinity.
No words of comfort. Even the phrase "man up" would be inappropriate. Suffering is an equal opportunity venture now....
"Here's the thing. Men like me never get anywhere. Ideas are easy. Success is hard. We are easily led astray by every little wind of hope, every tiny glimmer of a light at the end of a long dark path. In the end all of it is folly. It is all a fools dream."
Words of comfort didn't come forth. It's hard to read; it must have been difficult to write. Life transition brings on the darkest of days before a sunrise. Trite responses are unnecessary.
As we mid life women wrangle with life's direction, at least we tend to have an inbuilt emotional structure to manage the chaos. Men...I have come across so many who are ill prepared to handle the second half of their lives...especially if the first half has been less than successful.
Society favors the male gender until he ages. Yes, he will probably have built more financial stability but even that is changing. With the higher enrollment of women in college and wealth being managed in a more feminine friendly way, this century will not bode well for traditional masculinity.
No words of comfort. Even the phrase "man up" would be inappropriate. Suffering is an equal opportunity venture now....
Monday, August 4, 2014
Acceptance
We give ourselves a circle of friendship. Within the boundaries is acceptance of strengths and weaknesses but more so is that each person can be their true and valid self.
I'm greatly inspired when I get to be in the presence of others who have no artifice, no agenda to change themselves or others without the invitation to do so. I appreciate their individuality as I might a fine work of art, and if they choose to seek my insight as they evolve, I happily offer my humble opinion.
But offering my unsolicited advice goes against who I am trying to be...to become...I do not hold myself in such esteem as to know what is best for a friend without being invited to explore that with them. I like them for the reason that they are in charge of guiding their destiny and hopefully, they do not try to steer my own.
Acceptance. Tolerance. How has it become such a rarity? As our circles of humanity overlap, why do so many feign to be superior in their knowledge or experience? Why must they push their agenda into others without invitation? Is it fear on their part? Is it hubris? Live and let live is lost now?
Acceptance. Accept. Except for me?
I'm greatly inspired when I get to be in the presence of others who have no artifice, no agenda to change themselves or others without the invitation to do so. I appreciate their individuality as I might a fine work of art, and if they choose to seek my insight as they evolve, I happily offer my humble opinion.
But offering my unsolicited advice goes against who I am trying to be...to become...I do not hold myself in such esteem as to know what is best for a friend without being invited to explore that with them. I like them for the reason that they are in charge of guiding their destiny and hopefully, they do not try to steer my own.
Acceptance. Tolerance. How has it become such a rarity? As our circles of humanity overlap, why do so many feign to be superior in their knowledge or experience? Why must they push their agenda into others without invitation? Is it fear on their part? Is it hubris? Live and let live is lost now?
Acceptance. Accept. Except for me?
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Thoughts from years past
The Tree Commandments:
Stand tall
Reach for the sky
Go out on a limb
Soak up the sun
Sing with the Rain
Enjoy the view
Remember your roots
“Ripeness is All.”
("Ripeness is All" is a favorite quote from Shakespeare's King Lear: "Men must endure their going hence even as their coming hither; ripeness is all." )
The Travel Commandments:
Use a compass, not a map
Travel light
Take baby steps
Enjoy the view
What’s in the way, is the way....enjoy having your own way!
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