Approaching the topic of relationship power struggles is daunting. Humanity's legends, history, existence are based upon our struggles with one another in religion, war, and love. Power. At points, all these and more converge and it becomes a world war. And regardless of convergence, it is always a personal war.
How then does one make sense of our need to be in control and exert power over another? Rather than argue its existence, accepting that it happens tends to be the first rule to observe. Survival is based upon maintaining power over oneself, over another, over a situation. Ensuring that our offspring survives and thrives is a power move...we catapult our DNA into the future.
Dr. David McAnulty questions our choice to impose our "will to power" as parlaying our devotion to God, upholding a standard through powerful choices that seem to contradict religious teachings. He uses Mother Teresa's example of "surrender to God's plan" in her mission work while also suffering her "dark holes" as she confesses being lost to her faith.
Undeniably, she is one of our greatest icons of charitable love and yet, she struggled against the powerful hold of her faith. She wanted to submit wholeheartedly to Christ and she also wanted some control, some power over her own heart, her own mind.
Knowing that a Dark Saint (her words) had power issues is reassurance that it's okay to feel contradiction as we struggle with love in our personal relationships. We struggle with self imposed confines as accepting another's love means accepting their boundaries, their cages and letting ourselves become entangled with their heartstrings.
Regarding Susan Sung's quote that I led with...yes, I believe that it's time to admit that we allow others the power to treat us a certain way...we've asked them to do so. Revolution then may have more to do with ourselves than with them.
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