"Oh, you are a busy, funny, pretty, serious, kind, athletic girl...." These are the normal adjectives I'm given with a few sparkly and bubbly thrown in for good measure.
Yes, I'm taken aback when I hear this from a man who is engaging me in conversation. What does the term "girl" have to do with our discussion of current events? How can a philosophical discussion about Susan Sontag contain "girl" in reference to me?
I stand on my age 50 soapbox proudly as a woman but my appearance and foray into modeling whittle me down to girl status with many men. Were I to be more confrontational in nature, I might push back verbally. I don't. Why waste my energy debating a dolt?
Instead, I take advantage of their misguided perception and listen.... Doe eyed, smiling, nodding and completely in control of the situation, I listen to these men who aren't looking beneath my visage. It's important for me to observe how they let down their guard around a "woman" who doesn't threaten them because she's a GIRL. Part of me considers it psychological research and the other part considers it entertainment. After all, I'm not dumb enough to perceive them as anything other than a man and that keeps me safe both physically and emotionally. It's the man who takes nothing for granted when it comes to appearance and grills me to ascertain my intellect that I take seriously.
Will turning 50 take me beyond girl status? Shall I say "Goodbye to Girl" forever? Oddly enough, I don't care. Life has become a port of observation for me with the occasional foray into the wild...my disguise as girl may be ending, but my existence as human is forevermore.
"So successful has been the camera's role in beautifying the world that photographs, rather than the world, have become the standard of the beautiful."
Beware the one that sees just another girl....
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