Christmas is absolutely a fun time. Yes, I know it will be hard to face some of those rituals alone but I HOPE that it is also a time to build new rituals.
My daughter just informed me that she's NOT interested in having the four of us spend any time together at the holidays. With guilt, I'm relieved. I don't want to hang out with her Dad and I definitely don't want the stress of remembering old times...good and bad.
I think December just brings me to a realization that I survived the year. Next year, it will be a realization that I ENJOYED the year...no survival necessary. The storm of 2012 is passing and I am incredibly grateful for everything that I learned from it...I'm grateful that I have a few more weeks of it left to appreciate that I made important "forward" moves.
I don't expect happiness to be right around the corner...it's already here! I have it. I live it. I cycle through the dark moments and come out to the bright side. Christmas and its twinkling lights remind me that hope isn't just a fleeting moment...it's a living, breathing entity that carries me through to the next year.
2013...here I come!
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