Halfway through my life and I still ponder the delicacies of alcohol consumption. How is it that individuals find it difficult to admit why they drink alcohol?
As I listen to a friend extol the virtues of getting wasted, I'm reminded of my college dorm room rather than two adults discussing the pros and cons of drinking. Here then is the perfect example of why mid life folks need a refresher course in adulthood. We are apparently on the boomerang cycle of idiocy. It wasn't enough that we passed through it in our late teens and early twenties...no, we get to revisit our stupid selves again in our forties!
I'm going to extrapolate that our current actions as drunks are more dangerous than our past adolescent actions because...and here's the part that I'm finding difficult to communicate to friends...because we have responsibilities! It's NOT okay to lose an evening to unconsciousness because those hours are filled with missteps that can alter our current life path. Drunk driving, dialing, texting, and emailing begin the downward spiral and then it's polished off with dangerous actions.
Is someone willing to stand up and scream, "Hey, I know why everyone wants to drink? It's because life isn't turning out like we expected and we are afraid to face that reality!"
Anyone? No. Twenty five years ago, our drunken selves would rail against the unknown future. Today, too many mid lifers bemoan what the future became. Does drinking solve the reality? No. What is it doing then that it has become so important in our social lives? One strong argument is its ability to embolden us to speak our "true" minds and therefore, release some of the stress built up in our psyches. I do believe this stress valve is helpful and this is probably why the French and Italians are such good drinkers; it's a social action for stress and not a social cry for attention.
Alas, I am finding my American compatriots to be more concerned with their need to let EVERYONE IN THE ROOM know that they are drunk and ready to spill their last secret to every stranger they meet. Really, folks? Really? I don't care how lonesome you are...maybe it's because you scare away all the decent people who don't want to date drunks???!!!! I don't care if you're overweight...maybe you wouldn't get the munchies and gain so much weight if you weren't allowing yourself drunken food freedom. I don't care if no one in your family likes you anymore...who can like whiners that slur their words, cry crocodile tears and besmirch their loved ones. And who, especially, can bear being around selfish men and women who try to one-up each other as they seek romantic conquests.
Why do I sound so judgmental? Because I feel it. And rather than go grab a drink and write about it, I'm just going to write and HOPE that my friends are woman and man enough to push back from the bottle while in large groups. I hope they can control themselves when they drink alone and not scour the internet like drunken predators. My hope is that they enjoy getting buzzed with someone who cares enough about them that they don't allow each other to become sots who waste their brain cells.
New Year's Eve parties bring out some of our worst qualities. Is it truly a celebration of our year's successes and hope for the future, or is it sob fest for our weakest individuals to become codependent upon alcohol? Yes, I feel judgmental but I won't act upon it. At this point in my life, it is far easier to remove myself from a relationship, a room full of idiots, or circumstances that expose me to the draining negative energy of drunken and pathetic adults.
My path is selfish...I choose the quiet interludes with a few select friends who can hold their liquor, their tongues, and their hormones in check. It's good to remember that being an adult who is responsible is also a lot of fun...after all, we get to enter the sober world the next day without the burden of expressing apologies for things we can't remember. I want the second half of my life to be well remembered and NOT wasted...literally.
Finger wagging over. I'll never make it as a FOX anchor...even now, after writing this...I feel bad. I want to see the good and I want others to see the good within themselves. Instead of railing against them, I want to help them. Sadly, my own experience with a loved one shows this doesn't work. It's better to just step away after a while. No matter how much love is given...how many chances are held out in hopes of a change...there are some who will NEVER evolve.
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