Re-education?

Successfully inducing closure on a painful life event remains challenging.  For most of my adult life, I did not have a fully loaded emotional tool box.  I didn't know what I didn't know!  Perhaps if there had been a college exit exam testing emotional readiness for adulthood, I might be better prepared (and maybe still in college!)

But I'm no different than the bulk of my peers.  We drifted into our jobs, marriages, social life and families of our own making.  Looking back, I can see how my "get it done" mentality left no room for introspection.  Life was for the LIVING, not the philosophical and so I plowed through 3 decades of projects leaving scant time for my personal growth.

Finally, that time has come and I'm playing catch-up.  Another life transition is occurring but I choose enlightenment over ignorance.  My "to do" list is made up of clearing away years' worth of clutter so that I can embrace myself and others in a more caring fashion with mindfulness being key to my re-education.  There is still much to do in the daily routine of living, yet I allow it only minimal time.

The concept is so clear in my mind that I feel frustrated when others of my generation aren't working on themselves.  How do I tap them on the shoulder and turn them to the light?  Sounds ridiculous because it is; they're the only ones who can choose their path and who am I to say that their darkness is any less valuable than my pursuit of happiness?  I can say it if they start drifting into my path and casting shadows upon my light!

In another time, I didn't feel worthy enough to stand up for my dignity if I felt it had been assaulted.  That is changing.  I might be slower than ideal, but I get there and given time for reflection, I'm finding it easier to confront those who have cast their shadows upon me.

I confront myself, them, and then I forgive us both.  Humanity is a harsh business at times and getting lost on its paths is commonplace but it need not be a lifetime of wandering.  Instead, I will just walk around others blocking my joyful path; I don't like getting knee deep in their life muck but I've found it will wash off and I end up being smarter for the diversion.