It's been so long since I "cried my eyes out," that I didn't recognize what was wrong with them last night. Red, scratchy, swollen...maybe I'm allergic to my own tears!
Regardless of the multiple times I've been advised about emotional surges, until it actually happens...until the bottom is truly reached, it's difficult to comprehend.
My surge trigger came about after my daughter spent every night with me for a week as her father traveled. Having her with me daily for those few hours after school/practice gave me that modicum of normality we had missed. And then the week was over and tears arrived. It was book ended with "man issues" and in this state of mind, it was simply too much to bear. I felt failure as a mother because I can no longer be with my children daily and I felt failure as a woman because I am at a loss as to making a relationship work....
The tears hover near the surface. Writing takes the edge off but I'm fearful of what will turn the faucet back on. Reading the below article at least helped with my sanity:
Tearing Up
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