Glue

I read the following response to a question from a confused woman supposedly dating her true love:

"He's not opening up to me emotionally and wants me to wait longer than the two years I've been waiting...."

His request for you to wait sounds too much like layaway. He likes you, maybe even does love you, but is too wounded/scared/gun shy to say the words and defy his Ex by moving forward with his life (and never dismiss the possibility that this is exactly what his EX wants him to suffer.) How convenient for him if he has you "wait" until he's ready.

The answer was spot on as it continued...after two years, she is the one who needs help.  Why invest so much time in a losing cause?  I'm not sure how women or men for that case get so STUCK in a relationship that has no potential for an emotional commitment.  The psychological impact of our past does taint our intent BUT what is it about our addictive tendencies that mire us in the swamp of a losing effort?

My final summation after researching this question (one that has been pondered too much) is fear.  Humans can be emotionally fearful and if two vulnerable people come together then fear can become the relationship glue.  Chemistry, timing, opportunity are 3 components that jump start a coupling.  So what happens afterwards?  If these two adults are in tune with their psyches and open to the possibilities, it can be a delicious opportunity for personal growth with lots of terrific physicality as a highlight.  If one of them is hampered emotionally, then it's possibly a repeat of the failed marriage the divorcee has exited.  NOT delicious...SOUR....

The great part of dating as a mature woman is deciding what kind of glue to explore and knowing what kind suits a lifestyle.