Exit Stage Left

I have read that there are 5 stages to divorce recovery:  Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.

These stages are prolific online and part of me wonders if content-fillers just keep accessing the same outdated chart from a long ago published article. My problem with these stages is that the first three take place during the actual divorce proceedings.  Afterwards, we are left with the emotional turmoil of depression and acceptance.

As a divorce novice (only 2 years post divorce after a 23 year marriage,) I feel the true stages of divorce recovery are as individual as the spouses involved.  Dr. Andra Brosh relates the clearest idea of "truths" that I've read yet.  Truths  Her summation, "Take it upon yourself to challenge the stigma of our society that portrays divorcing people as being broken and pathetic. Teach them that it's painful, yet transformative, and that divorce is the end of a marriage not a life."

My literal nest is emptying in a couple of days.  With my ex, I'll be leaving our "baby" at her university.  18 years old.  The family's fracture will be complete.  Both children will continue to need our parenting but the family of four will have completed its final separation and so, too, do I feel another stage of divorce recovery.

As many couples anticipate, the empty nest conjures up visions of freedom and excitement.  Unfortunately, the statistics for a couple to make that journey are not as optimistic.  Creating a family creates turmoil.  Even the "happiest" couple admits that it is a tremendous struggle to maintain balance and contentment in a marriage with the stresses of child-rearing.  Not seeking help during those long years is a recipe for disaster.  Friendly advice, family intervention, spiritual guidance, couples counseling...any or all of it might be necessary for two people to come out on the other side successfully after family life.

Our little family has four separate accomplishments.  Each of us have branched away and the lessons learned about guidance will enable me to help my children for the rest of our lives.  

This new STAGE of life means I must exit the old one.  And so, with a bow...

Exit stage left.