When I saw this movie last weekend, I felt compelled to roll it around my brain for hours afterward. It makes complete sense now why all the main actors were nominated for awards. Their personas captured the tapestry of a family torn asunder by the dilemma of mental health problems.
Examining the movie will provide hours of cinema critique, but examining the characters tosses us into a mirror looking back at ourselves.
How is it that LOVE makes us so blind? Is the human instinct so powerfully ingrained that we imprint upon others regardless of imminent danger to our psyches? One would think that Mother Nature knows what she's doing...we are chemically drawn to one another for procreation and once the familial unit is formed, our hormones continue the process of bonding so that the offspring is protected and reared appropriately.
Our societies set up systems to keep us bound to one another through religion, education, and politics. And so, we are urged to stay in an original coupling regardless of how painful and crippling it might be for our mental stability. Something in this movie struck a chord in me of how much suffering is required to keep those family bonds in tact. The sacrifice of the parents for their children, the continued love from the children for these aging parents...all of it is presented in such a fashion to make we viewers question our commitments to our loved ones.
As the fog of this divorce passes, I will feel safer defining my goals with or without a partner. My children are practically grown. Within 16 months, both of them will be considered adults by law but as a mother, I know they won't be "cooked" for quite a while. Mothering doesn't end ever and I can thank my own mother for that wonderful lesson.
Look for the silver lining in a dark cloud? No, I think we should look for the silver lining of daylight once the fog rises and then it might be safe again to explore a playbook for the future.
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