Dating is NOT something I necessarily enjoy. I have been told that I should enjoy this time as a child would in a candy shop. Really? When my own kids went to the candy shop, they became overwhelmed with the choices. It was hard for them to remember what really satisfied their sweet tooth and they would end up trying out new candies that weren't necessarily to their taste.
And should we talk about the indigestion? Too much of a good thing is still too much!
The hard truths are as follows:
- I prefer to be a private person. Meeting all these new folks and sharing our stories is stressful.
- Chemistry matters! If I don't feel that "zing," it will not matter how long we get to know each other.
- It has been proven...if you are NOT happy when you begin a relationship, then you will NOT be happy after the initial rush is over. FACT-That rush can last up to two years.
- Serial daters desensitize themselves just as a band-aid eventually loses its "sticky" once it's been lifted too many times. I don't want to be that used up band-aid. If I find someone who is worthy of my attention, then I have zero need to keep searching in case there is someone "better."
- If all parts of a man come together as the "perfect" one for you, but he doesn't believe in himself...then don't try to fix him. It's impossible. He needs to heal from the inside out and he may choose to never do that by NOT getting the help necessary. It's the saddest hard truth.
Maybe the hardest thing to accept is that the list of hard truths will probably grow longer. Our goals as humans, as "lost" mates can't be set in stone. Adjusting one's goals and expectations isn't a weakness but a strength as we learn what we find acceptable in the strange world of being single.
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