Grief

Today I grieve.

For all the cacophony that blares about our self-indulgent society, so many of us do not allow time for grief.  We are assailed with the fear that when we stop moving forward in recovery, then we stop moving at all.

I'm guilty of that and am somewhat defiant.  I have NOT wanted to stop for the grief.  The physical act of crying and wailing may be therapeutic for some but I dread its appearance.  As a sunny person, I hate the dark clouds of sorrow.  And yet, without them, how could we appreciate the brighter days?

And so I grieve.  Life didn't turn out the way I expected. I mistakenly believed in keeping my hopes at a minimum, therefore when the tide turned, I wouldn't be too disappointed.  My, how we delude ourselves as we seek inner solace.  It was the exact opposite...my heart really wanted the whole fairy tale.  I wanted it.  And it didn't come true.

What will I do?

For a bit, grief can have its way with me.  And in sturdy Appalachian fashion, I will sweep it aside again and get about finding my new fairy tale.  Darn it!  I still believe.  :-)  I believe happiness trumps grief.  I believe.