The General

I ache for General Petraeus and his wife tonight.  Bad news doesn't get any better with age so he came clean as soon as it was apparent that his affair was going public.  

The horrible and incomprehensible wars that our country has endured lately have been in the hands of this man.  He has been an "alpha" male in every sense of the word.  Alas, being an alpha puts a man in positions where his ego gets stroked on a regular basis and eventually, he needs stroking of another kind.  Not knowing what has transpired with his wife, it becomes even more necessary to give them the benefit of the doubt.

It's something I did not get...the benefit of my side of the story.  Because I left the family home and did not try to force friends to "choose" between the ex and myself, I'm sure many of them believe I was the root cause of the divorce.  And although I wasn't the initial cause, my lack of gumption to force a resolution years ago led to my rapid-fire decision to get the bad news out and the pain settled as quickly as possible.  The world I had been living in didn't appreciate that and in trying to keep some semblance of privacy for our children, I was left hanging out to dry in many cases.

A man as honorable as General Petraeus may never fully recover emotionally from this slide into dishonor.  That is a shame.  He has undoubtedly suffered as he brought pain to his loved ones and those who have held him in high esteem.  All of us are human, though and are filled with regrets when we cause others to suffer.  Even though my ex put me through years of agony, I still feel bad that I have caused him hurt.  I cannot understand why some ex-wives actually enjoy making their exes suffer.  It's a simple formula...what we put out is what we get back.  

I want to put out compassion and hope that somehow it will come back to me from someone.  Sounds juvenile, but really, sanity requires it.  Hurting someone else on purpose is the epitome of evil...hard for me to comprehend.

I don't know when the General will feel better.  Folks tell me that it gets easier every day...I suppose...and I hope.  Most days I just hate feeling alone and vulnerable.  Having a mate can be both stressful and a de-stressor.  It's a fine line known as love and passion and veering on either side of it can send either person into a tailspin.  My head is dizzy because the tailspin has arrived.