"...just the best for you..."

When the conversation begins with a statement from a friend with the idea of "just the best for you," then it's time to stiffen one's spine and expect a lecture.  Some friends are like that...their concern for you during rough times becomes somewhat frenetic.

The multitude of opinions concerning my love life have come forth in droves.  As one friend shared, "Lisa, you've won the jackpot!  You're free to date as much as you want.  You don't have to deal with an asshole for more than one date!  Because you paid your dues, you now have the money and time to do whatever you want to do...."  And then I get the advice of what I should do.

Living away from friends and family for all these years has added an element of mystery to my life.  Regardless of what I share, they always suspect there is more going on with me.  They've been right!  Dear friends who are teetotalers never heard about the crazy parties in the neighborhoods.  My crazy friends in those cul de sacs didn't believe how angelic I could be.  The jock group loved how I was Miss Rough and Tumble and could be in the sports scene so easily.  My girlie girls raved about my ability to be uber feminine.  And oh, those business people...I couldn't have been a better corporate wife, a more professional volunteer and reliable contractor in the decorating scene.

So I've paid my dues and have the time and money to be whoever I want now?  Funny, to make everyone else happy, I've just been the person they want me to be.  We are all chameleons to a point...I've just had the luxury of leaving my personas behind.  Almost like the new kid in school, I've been able to alter myself just enough to fit in anywhere.  Where that leaves me now is pondering how to be simply me.

All those joyous friends of mine "just want the best for me" and have strong opinions of what that might be...they just don't realize how many people I've had to be to simply survive this crazy life.  Who they knew was probably different than the Lisa in a previous state.  And so it goes as they pass judgment on who I ought to see now romantically...the professional, the jock, the educator...endless suggestions with introductions at the ready.  After all, everyone knows somebody who has moved to Florida!

I'm disappointing these friends now as I dodge their introductions from afar.  I'm choosing to indulge myself...no more acting.  This time I get to be a bit of every Lisa without committing to just one.  I get to choose someone that is willing for me to be versatile...goofy, distracted, enthusiastic and sometimes, sad.  I get to be sad now with support...it's incredibly difficult to be the "happy person" for two plus decades.  What a relief.  :-)