If

My second year of freedom from marriage is apt to be FILLED with life.  As I stated to a friend, I have a lot of pent up living to do.

Slowly, v-e-r-y slowly, I am coming to believe that it is not self indulgent to have a life of my own.  Have I simply imposed slavery upon myself for the last quarter century?  Perhaps it was unconscious, but the answer is still YES; I chose to live my life with someone else in charge of it.

The hiking trip to Scotland convinced me to forgive myself.  Maybe the pain I endured for those five days was the penance I was seeking to give.  Regardless, all of the time spent doing nothing but putting one foot in front of the other was enough therapy to put me over the edge of grace.  I have forgiven young Lisa.  I have embraced the vulnerable and imperfect woman that I've become.  Imperfect grace:  wabi-sabi

If I continue with my self reflection and deep commitment to living a life based upon personal joy, then I'm sure that my musings of "if" will end.  

I have never been an admirer of the ME Generation, yet here I am being concerned first and foremost with myself.  It may take me another 25 years to figure out if I like living life for myself.  :-)