It's time to make peace with my inner girl. I forgive her for the ignorance she displayed as a 23 year old when she was unable to distinguish between chemistry and intimacy.
Looking at the photos of my young self getting married shock me. I knew so little of the world and even less about the requirements of a mature relationship.
As a single woman now, I don't want to "make up for the mistake" of my earlier marriage. I've learned. I've struggled. I've gained insight. Perhaps I've even given birth to myself by taking on this opportunity to start anew!
It's very important now that I study the differences between a chemical attraction and the more satisfying intimate relationship. From what I'm learning, our bodies are biologically fixed to react in a positive fashion for the sake of baby making. Now that those days are over, I have to make a conscious effort to avert a chemical "stink" bomb! When I feel the addictive pull toward a man for no reason other than physical...I'm stopping myself. I'm paying attention to what is really happening between us.
Silly dating articles are full of the "romance" of chemical attraction but I'm hoping my brain gets turned on too. In fact, I am so distrustful of the body's response that I am purposely going out with a man on a second date BECAUSE I didn't feel a strong physical response. He was smart, funny, relatively attractive...so why didn't I feel that spark? For me, it is worth the time to find out.
In answer to the query of "what women want," perhaps we should redirect and think about "What does a woman's body want that isn't important to a woman's brain?"
Physical, mental, and emotional health quotient...it's not just for children anymore....
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