Flash

Over exposed.  Saturation.  In a flash, it all becomes too much for us.

We ladies who walk alone in mid life often talk about the crushing feelings of loneliness, but can it not also be said that attention can crush us as well?  Or maybe it says more about me....

I worked at two different times in my life with groups of women and found them to be utterly exhausting as they huddled together to solve a myriad of self-proclaimed problems.  Unlike the brothers I grew up with, these ladies TALKED and fretted and thoroughly immersed themselves in the minutiae of a perceived problem.  Maddening.

My former life was filled with alone time during the day and lacked spousal attention even when he was in the house.  Long days, busy schedules, gaps of time spent apart...perhaps it acclimated me to a lonely life of my choosing.  And now that I'm in this very single life, I catch myself opting for alone time over couple time.

The entire atmosphere of dating leaves me feeling muddled.  Reading about attachment styles, gender based differences, effects of my childhood on my mate choice is enough to make me want to simply throw down the books and continue on unattached.

(a night of sleep)

And so I wake up this morning because my computer was "overcome" with a weakened battery...just as I was last night....

Reflection.  Introspection.  And smiles because I'm learning, I'm being taught that a simple rest from heavy thoughts can cure my over exposure....

It  would be nice to share my pondering with someone right now and have a warm sounding board rather than this keyboard!  :-)