Winter causes isolation. Our fantasies include everyone with a warm mug huddling near a fireplace but reality is more like dreary days spent by oneself in front of a television or computer screen.
Sociologists are keen to warn us about the detriments of being alone. How Isolation Can Kill You Many would argue that our move to social media rather than person to person contact has contributed to it and yet, historians also chime in with how isolation wasn't always considered so foul. How would the populace of the world have expanded if humankind wasn't wired to branch out alone and conquer new kingdoms?
It seems then that each generation faces the dilemma of how to be alone but not be lonely, how to be sociable yet not annoying, and how to withstand outward pressures that catapult us into unwanted isolation.
Cabin fever during cold winters isn't a myth. Lethargy with summer heat is real. Prolonged wet weather spawns depression. Could all this mean that autumn is the perfect season with its crisp days and bright sunshine? Maybe for some....
I'm yearning for springlike days and hot summer heat and feel selfish about it! My Florida winter is nirvana for many enduring cold and snowy days. But it's still my winter and has settled unwanted....
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Friday, February 20, 2015
Siberian Express
Being cold in Central Florida is strange. The sun shines brightly but the thermometer stubbornly stays below 50 degrees. Cold! My body and mind have stiffened in rejection of it and I've avowed that never again will I move north and live a winter in it.
This surprises me. I love my home state of Kentucky and enjoy the changing of seasons and yet, I'm absolutely sure that northern winters will exist as memories rather than reality. Existence in cold is now painful. Most MS patients cannot sustain long periods of time in the heat...apparently, I'm an anomaly with that as with most summations of my malady. Cold is my nemesis. My brain feels foggy, my legs aren't listening well and this in turn gives me a bad case of grouchiness.
Staying in bed resisting this until heat arrives has been most tempting. Hibernation is appealing and assuredly what my body's instincts are calling me to do BUT intellect reminds me that rebellion is an unparalleled remedy.
Make the brain operate. Move the body. Adjust the attitude.
It's part of the metaphor I live daily as my life transition continues. Half a century passed and I'm coming to terms with answers to many questions about my next half.
Where should I live? I now know that I must live in warmth for my health...physical, mental, and emotional. The warmth of other's love is also necessary and being close to that is imperative for my happiness.
How shall I feel? This cold snap reminds me that I can CHOOSE my thought process by rebelling. I don't have to give in to instincts and hunker down to wait out the misery of the transition. I can think and move which will cause the attitude to alter. My mother once said, "I am. I will. I do." It's a powerful statement of forward thinking and has guided me ever since.
What shall I do? Answers to this must still be buzzing about the cosmos. I continue to look upward, outward, inward for clarity. Accepting my personality trait of the need to do rather than wait for it to organically appear means I turn over many rocks while seeking purposeful living. Purposeful life existence is necessary to keep hibernation at bay.
I am. I will. I do...said the mother.
I am willing to do...said the daughter.
FOR SALE: 1 ticket on the Siberian Express
This surprises me. I love my home state of Kentucky and enjoy the changing of seasons and yet, I'm absolutely sure that northern winters will exist as memories rather than reality. Existence in cold is now painful. Most MS patients cannot sustain long periods of time in the heat...apparently, I'm an anomaly with that as with most summations of my malady. Cold is my nemesis. My brain feels foggy, my legs aren't listening well and this in turn gives me a bad case of grouchiness.
Staying in bed resisting this until heat arrives has been most tempting. Hibernation is appealing and assuredly what my body's instincts are calling me to do BUT intellect reminds me that rebellion is an unparalleled remedy.
Make the brain operate. Move the body. Adjust the attitude.
It's part of the metaphor I live daily as my life transition continues. Half a century passed and I'm coming to terms with answers to many questions about my next half.
Where should I live? I now know that I must live in warmth for my health...physical, mental, and emotional. The warmth of other's love is also necessary and being close to that is imperative for my happiness.
How shall I feel? This cold snap reminds me that I can CHOOSE my thought process by rebelling. I don't have to give in to instincts and hunker down to wait out the misery of the transition. I can think and move which will cause the attitude to alter. My mother once said, "I am. I will. I do." It's a powerful statement of forward thinking and has guided me ever since.
What shall I do? Answers to this must still be buzzing about the cosmos. I continue to look upward, outward, inward for clarity. Accepting my personality trait of the need to do rather than wait for it to organically appear means I turn over many rocks while seeking purposeful living. Purposeful life existence is necessary to keep hibernation at bay.
I am. I will. I do...said the mother.
I am willing to do...said the daughter.
FOR SALE: 1 ticket on the Siberian Express
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Falling Slowly
Magical life experiences are my dearest possessions in life. A photo cannot do them justice nor a text or tweet. Society tells us that they will come at prescribed times such as weddings, births, deaths or pivotal life transitions but mine are unexpected surprises. I don't have to revisit Facebook to remember them. I don't need to reread a journal entry. These moments are carried so tightly within me that they have become me and I am part of them.
As a child, they were comprised of visual flashes or physical reactions...an adult's comment, exposure to a book or TV show, or interaction with a friend brought forth these magical enlightened moments. The memory of them is still crystal clear and encourages me to be ready for more.
As an adult, they have become rare and I ponder if it's because I have lost my childlike wonder. It seems that now I tend to share this magic with others. The first moment I met my personal trainer, I literally looked into his face and heard music. How did that happen? Rather than delve into an answer, I'm simply grateful that I didn't run, instead endured and have become a healthy woman owed greatly to his guidance. We are a friendship that was simply meant to be.
When I took my first trip to Europe, I experienced two special events. One after reaching deep within myself to overcome a physical obstacle while hiking and the second, following an unseen pathway that led my partner and I to one of his lifelong passions; being with someone as they experience a moment is just as good as having one. It is a communal gift that can be life altering for both individuals.
I write about this today as I had one of those exceedingly rare moments last night. There was no extraordinary event that brought it forth but rather, a confluence of choices that caused magic to occur. And I emphasize the word magic because of its whimsical nature and childlike wonder....
A simple re-telling of my special magical moment:
I heard a young artist, Taylor John Williams on a musical reality show perform a song that moved me. I became a fan that night and his song replayed itself over and over in my mind.
Ten days later, I met a very special man and as life is apt to unfold, we began sharing our interests. A few nights ago, we watched a movie that he felt was special, ONCE-released in 2006 and then made into a musical on Broadway. The main actor/singer performed the song "Falling Slowly," the same song that I had fell in love with sung by young Taylor. Knowing that I was moved so deeply by the song and that my special man was moved so deeply by the movie would be magical enough and yet, there was more....
Today's technology gives us information instantaneously...we researched the actor/singer, Glen Hansard, and magic unfolded...Glen Hansard would be performing within two days in our city!
We went to the performance last night and completed the circle. My discovery of a song and new artist, his discovery of a powerful movie, and our discovery together of an Irish troubadour who inspires with each performance. Magical gift. Grateful. Be ready for yours. It's time that you won.
"FALLING SLOWLY"
Lyrics
As a child, they were comprised of visual flashes or physical reactions...an adult's comment, exposure to a book or TV show, or interaction with a friend brought forth these magical enlightened moments. The memory of them is still crystal clear and encourages me to be ready for more.
As an adult, they have become rare and I ponder if it's because I have lost my childlike wonder. It seems that now I tend to share this magic with others. The first moment I met my personal trainer, I literally looked into his face and heard music. How did that happen? Rather than delve into an answer, I'm simply grateful that I didn't run, instead endured and have become a healthy woman owed greatly to his guidance. We are a friendship that was simply meant to be.
When I took my first trip to Europe, I experienced two special events. One after reaching deep within myself to overcome a physical obstacle while hiking and the second, following an unseen pathway that led my partner and I to one of his lifelong passions; being with someone as they experience a moment is just as good as having one. It is a communal gift that can be life altering for both individuals.
I write about this today as I had one of those exceedingly rare moments last night. There was no extraordinary event that brought it forth but rather, a confluence of choices that caused magic to occur. And I emphasize the word magic because of its whimsical nature and childlike wonder....
A simple re-telling of my special magical moment:
I heard a young artist, Taylor John Williams on a musical reality show perform a song that moved me. I became a fan that night and his song replayed itself over and over in my mind.
Ten days later, I met a very special man and as life is apt to unfold, we began sharing our interests. A few nights ago, we watched a movie that he felt was special, ONCE-released in 2006 and then made into a musical on Broadway. The main actor/singer performed the song "Falling Slowly," the same song that I had fell in love with sung by young Taylor. Knowing that I was moved so deeply by the song and that my special man was moved so deeply by the movie would be magical enough and yet, there was more....
Today's technology gives us information instantaneously...we researched the actor/singer, Glen Hansard, and magic unfolded...Glen Hansard would be performing within two days in our city!
We went to the performance last night and completed the circle. My discovery of a song and new artist, his discovery of a powerful movie, and our discovery together of an Irish troubadour who inspires with each performance. Magical gift. Grateful. Be ready for yours. It's time that you won.
"FALLING SLOWLY"
Lyrics
I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now
Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along
I'll sing along
Monday, January 26, 2015
Will to Power
"I learned that what people do to you is oftentimes what you've asked them to do." Susan Sung
Approaching the topic of relationship power struggles is daunting. Humanity's legends, history, existence are based upon our struggles with one another in religion, war, and love. Power. At points, all these and more converge and it becomes a world war. And regardless of convergence, it is always a personal war.
How then does one make sense of our need to be in control and exert power over another? Rather than argue its existence, accepting that it happens tends to be the first rule to observe. Survival is based upon maintaining power over oneself, over another, over a situation. Ensuring that our offspring survives and thrives is a power move...we catapult our DNA into the future.
Dr. David McAnulty questions our choice to impose our "will to power" as parlaying our devotion to God, upholding a standard through powerful choices that seem to contradict religious teachings. He uses Mother Teresa's example of "surrender to God's plan" in her mission work while also suffering her "dark holes" as she confesses being lost to her faith.
Undeniably, she is one of our greatest icons of charitable love and yet, she struggled against the powerful hold of her faith. She wanted to submit wholeheartedly to Christ and she also wanted some control, some power over her own heart, her own mind.
Knowing that a Dark Saint (her words) had power issues is reassurance that it's okay to feel contradiction as we struggle with love in our personal relationships. We struggle with self imposed confines as accepting another's love means accepting their boundaries, their cages and letting ourselves become entangled with their heartstrings.
Regarding Susan Sung's quote that I led with...yes, I believe that it's time to admit that we allow others the power to treat us a certain way...we've asked them to do so. Revolution then may have more to do with ourselves than with them.
Approaching the topic of relationship power struggles is daunting. Humanity's legends, history, existence are based upon our struggles with one another in religion, war, and love. Power. At points, all these and more converge and it becomes a world war. And regardless of convergence, it is always a personal war.
How then does one make sense of our need to be in control and exert power over another? Rather than argue its existence, accepting that it happens tends to be the first rule to observe. Survival is based upon maintaining power over oneself, over another, over a situation. Ensuring that our offspring survives and thrives is a power move...we catapult our DNA into the future.
Dr. David McAnulty questions our choice to impose our "will to power" as parlaying our devotion to God, upholding a standard through powerful choices that seem to contradict religious teachings. He uses Mother Teresa's example of "surrender to God's plan" in her mission work while also suffering her "dark holes" as she confesses being lost to her faith.
Undeniably, she is one of our greatest icons of charitable love and yet, she struggled against the powerful hold of her faith. She wanted to submit wholeheartedly to Christ and she also wanted some control, some power over her own heart, her own mind.
Knowing that a Dark Saint (her words) had power issues is reassurance that it's okay to feel contradiction as we struggle with love in our personal relationships. We struggle with self imposed confines as accepting another's love means accepting their boundaries, their cages and letting ourselves become entangled with their heartstrings.
Regarding Susan Sung's quote that I led with...yes, I believe that it's time to admit that we allow others the power to treat us a certain way...we've asked them to do so. Revolution then may have more to do with ourselves than with them.
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Summertime Life
Gershwin had the genius for placing pitch perfect words into a semblance of rhythm that musicians then alter to fit their own style. Listening to this perfection of song including lyric, melody, and a songstress whose performance was heartfelt motivates me to find my words, my inner aching beauty, and my "Summertime" whenever I choose.
Often, I refer to midlife as a transition into the autumn of life. Hearing art such as this though reminds me that "Summertime" does not have to depart. I can choose to fly away from it, above it, around it, and beyond it at my whim. It is true freedom when we can choose to transcend our medium...either in the reality of art or the promise of escaping life through art.
Summertime Life
My sighs and woes
My highs and lows
A turn to dark
A turn to glow
Forever thoughts?
Forever moans?
A mystery sought
A mystery grown
My dark and light
My heart and sight
Forever lost?
Forever found?
My sighs and woes
My breaths and moans
A turn made right
A turn to flight
Sunday, January 11, 2015
The Heart Wants What it Wants
Young Selena Gomez relates the ache of having a heart that launches itself painfully toward a dead end love. Disdainful critics cast aside the importance of these pop culture icons yet the masses are moved by their messages.
Modern Fairy Tale Listen to her brief monologue before the song.
Mothering teenagers took me back to the days of my angst filled youth...days that seemed interminably long when my heart was broken...days that passed in a blur when I was ecstatic. What a surprise to find out that it remains the same in midlife regardless of my so called maturity! The books and articles that we read and write may reflect adult lessons but observing the pop culture of youth shows we don't truly change our approach too much.
Music is our solace, flipping from fad to fad is our habit, and speaking out loudly against society's expectations is part of our psyche. I often tell my children that we seem to be in the same stage of life, on the cusp of a great adventure that we can't predict but are excited to undertake. The gift and curse of our modern age is that the internet has allowed immediate interaction with our present and our past. Because of its immediacy, we no longer have the luxury of reflection. The lure of instantaneous fulfillment bypasses a much needed rest stop on life's path.
And yet, the outcrop of art coming from our youth shows they are reflecting...they are absorbing...they are evolving. I don't believe that today's generation is LESS than previous great generations. We've given them the tools to become civilization's best example of what humanity can become. Naysayers will come back with ruminations of our crumbling social fabric. Instead, our youth may be the first wave of weavers who are forming a new and better social fabric.
Let me end with a throwback response to Selena from a past pop icon.
Ronstadt's Lesson
Don't feel alone, Selena because you too will learn the lesson and meet better men. And one day, maybe you will be considered a national treasure just like my era's Linda Ronstadt.
Modern Fairy Tale Listen to her brief monologue before the song.
Mothering teenagers took me back to the days of my angst filled youth...days that seemed interminably long when my heart was broken...days that passed in a blur when I was ecstatic. What a surprise to find out that it remains the same in midlife regardless of my so called maturity! The books and articles that we read and write may reflect adult lessons but observing the pop culture of youth shows we don't truly change our approach too much.
Music is our solace, flipping from fad to fad is our habit, and speaking out loudly against society's expectations is part of our psyche. I often tell my children that we seem to be in the same stage of life, on the cusp of a great adventure that we can't predict but are excited to undertake. The gift and curse of our modern age is that the internet has allowed immediate interaction with our present and our past. Because of its immediacy, we no longer have the luxury of reflection. The lure of instantaneous fulfillment bypasses a much needed rest stop on life's path.
And yet, the outcrop of art coming from our youth shows they are reflecting...they are absorbing...they are evolving. I don't believe that today's generation is LESS than previous great generations. We've given them the tools to become civilization's best example of what humanity can become. Naysayers will come back with ruminations of our crumbling social fabric. Instead, our youth may be the first wave of weavers who are forming a new and better social fabric.
Let me end with a throwback response to Selena from a past pop icon.
Ronstadt's Lesson
Don't feel alone, Selena because you too will learn the lesson and meet better men. And one day, maybe you will be considered a national treasure just like my era's Linda Ronstadt.
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Rubber Bands and Mallets
S T R E T C H I N G
M Y S E L F
Without breaking.
A rubber band-my life-
Forsaking
The fears giving in
To tugs-giving in
To stretching, not breaking.
P O U N D I N G
M Y S E L F
Into submission.
A rubber mallet-my penance-
Permission
The emotions of love
To tears-giving in
To intentions, not fears.
R E L E A S I N G
M Y S E L F
For exploring.
A rubber-filled talent, not boring.
Freedom
The stirring of words
To moments-giving in
To be heard, not silence.
M Y S E L F
Without breaking.
A rubber band-my life-
Forsaking
The fears giving in
To tugs-giving in
To stretching, not breaking.
P O U N D I N G
M Y S E L F
Into submission.
A rubber mallet-my penance-
Permission
The emotions of love
To tears-giving in
To intentions, not fears.
R E L E A S I N G
M Y S E L F
For exploring.
A rubber-filled talent, not boring.
Freedom
The stirring of words
To moments-giving in
To be heard, not silence.
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