Being cold in Central Florida is strange. The sun shines brightly but the thermometer stubbornly stays below 50 degrees. Cold! My body and mind have stiffened in rejection of it and I've avowed that never again will I move north and live a winter in it.
This surprises me. I love my home state of Kentucky and enjoy the changing of seasons and yet, I'm absolutely sure that northern winters will exist as memories rather than reality. Existence in cold is now painful. Most MS patients cannot sustain long periods of time in the heat...apparently, I'm an anomaly with that as with most summations of my malady. Cold is my nemesis. My brain feels foggy, my legs aren't listening well and this in turn gives me a bad case of grouchiness.
Staying in bed resisting this until heat arrives has been most tempting. Hibernation is appealing and assuredly what my body's instincts are calling me to do BUT intellect reminds me that rebellion is an unparalleled remedy.
Make the brain operate. Move the body. Adjust the attitude.
It's part of the metaphor I live daily as my life transition continues. Half a century passed and I'm coming to terms with answers to many questions about my next half.
Where should I live? I now know that I must live in warmth for my health...physical, mental, and emotional. The warmth of other's love is also necessary and being close to that is imperative for my happiness.
How shall I feel? This cold snap reminds me that I can CHOOSE my thought process by rebelling. I don't have to give in to instincts and hunker down to wait out the misery of the transition. I can think and move which will cause the attitude to alter. My mother once said, "I am. I will. I do." It's a powerful statement of forward thinking and has guided me ever since.
What shall I do? Answers to this must still be buzzing about the cosmos. I continue to look upward, outward, inward for clarity. Accepting my personality trait of the need to do rather than wait for it to organically appear means I turn over many rocks while seeking purposeful living. Purposeful life existence is necessary to keep hibernation at bay.
I am. I will. I do...said the mother.
I am willing to do...said the daughter.
FOR SALE: 1 ticket on the Siberian Express
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