It's very difficult to hold back unsolicited advice to others dealing with the mentally ill. In the past, while coping with individuals whose minds took vacations from reality, I experienced great pain. Trying to have patience, empathy, and understanding while being subjected to their radical thoughts tested my limits of forgiveness. Giving up, I stepped away to preserve my own peace and health.
Letting someone go who exists physically but has disappeared mentally is a grief filled undertaking. Moments of connection cause hope but without medical intervention, it's a lost cause. No one can truly come back without help. But getting help means giving up control and I've come to accept that the need for control is all that the sick can rely on. If they control their environment and those who step in and out of their circle, they're able to convince themselves that sickness isn't within them.
Watching others encounter ill family or friends for the first time is equally frustrating. No matter our experience, our advice is useless because hope springs eternal for those newly exposed...exposed to seeing their loved ones drift away or create havoc within the relationship.
That moment of "I told you so" will never pass from my lips as I watch the destruction take place for others. Sadness instead as we see them struggle to comprehend their loved one's unhealthy mind and realizing that helping our friends manage their pain is more important than understanding another's madness.
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