Refraction

My generation is experiencing loss.  We are mostly at the midpoint of a centenarian life; I like to think we'll live another healthy 50 years if we want.  Unfortunately, that means our parents and other family members are growing older too, passing away in greater numbers as life's cycle continues.

Watching my dear friends go through this in 2015 has been heartrending.  The roller coaster of illness, hospitalizations, disability, relocation and for some, death foretells a future that I don't want to consider for my own family and yet, I know it must come to pass.

Writing helps me process what I see and feel when confronted with these painful passages.  Because I've been an onlooker rather than a participant, I've observed a commonality between the ill/dying loved ones and their grief stricken family members.  Each exists in an emotional/physical fog as they struggle to find a safe path through this passage.

I'm imagining the intimate connection of how two loved ones must say goodbye.  Each is on their own journey...one processing their own demise, one processing the demise of their loved one.  Regardless of who is around to support them, no one but themselves can walk the path and understand the passage.

They are each other's light passing through a fog, a refraction of love and a reflection of life and death.

refraction:  the fact or phenomenon of light, radio waves, etc., being deflected in passing obliquely through the interface between one medium and another or through a medium of varying density 
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REFRACTION

I sit alone

A chair of hard wood and straight back

I sit alone

Time rushing, unchecked

Others see life, a purpose not lost,

Harder for me, adrift more than most

I gaze alone

A cavern of dark thoughts and cold moments

I gaze alone

Thoughts seizing, now frozen

Others feel warmth, flames newly lit

Harder for me, scared I still sit

I rise alone

A rock of limestone and sand

I rise alone

Legs trembling, knees stiff

Others walk forward, time still unspent

Harder for me, not knowing my strength

I step alone

A foot dropped in great pain

I step alone

Heart broken, life stained

Others flee sadness, but it fills me whole

Harder for me, chasing dreams then my soul

I float alone

A welcome thick fog

I float alone

Grief stricken, but calm

Others call to me, beloved on each side

Harder for me, I’m saying goodbye