Screaming at shadows playing by light
Fingers extended to offer forgiveness
Fists then angrily curling up tight
I admire souls confronting their lightness
Laughing at memories slipping awry
Thoughts left open in gaping awareness
Hiding in crevices of matter not right
I admire souls confronting their darkness
Crying for memories now left behind
Gray matter dissolving and tears
Are drowning the person I was
Now matter not right
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It is a daily challenge for me to face the transition that my brain undergoes. When I first learned that my gray matter was "not right" as the doctor put it, I raged. I was vain. My delight in how I could extract my thoughts and then use brilliant words to express them...well, I exalted in my gift.
I don't drop to my knees now and give thanks for what I have left. I'm not like that. Instead, I keep an inner rage continuing so that my brain catches fire in another way...it's an odd feeling to be a stranger inside myself. The discovery of what I can do is a daily adventure, not of my choosing, but I'm determined that those new pathways will reveal more brilliance.
Some like to share their light...some like to flaunt their darkness...I will be happy to embrace my fire for my gray matter that is "not right."
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