That palpable feeling of transition leaves me feeling anxious. Part of me understands that if I quietly contemplate the changes to come then I will know exactly how to direct them. But life is about the element of surprise. Were I to unmask the face of it then the sorrow or joy of finding out early might be my undoing.
Intuitive analysts are eager to gather in think tanks, addressing the probabilities of what may occur in various situations. Now that my family unit is apart, I no longer have a tank of thinkers. I'm on my own but have been reminded by a few people lately that loneliness is just a choice, not a forgone conclusion. Of course I have chosen loneliness for now! How else could I lick my wounds satisfactorily? Healing must start from within and it's my own scabs that I choose to pick or not.
Parting the curtains, lifting the veil, revealing the center of the cool heat that is me may be the daunting task I have to face. Yet, it's a lull when it happens...a breath of discovery than cannot be taken away...and sadly, a gift given isn't necessarily a gift wanted....
One is never too old to yearn.---An Italian Proverb
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